Happy Thanksgiving- oh the blasphemy!

I was thinking today as I was wishing various people "Happy Thanksgiving" how it really was a wonder that no one got upset with me for saying it and me wishing them that didn't bother them. It was simply amazing that I could share my sentiments regarding a religious holiday founded on God without being told I must call it something more politically correct. I can just see it now, mobs of people raving that Thanksgiving has to be deemed Harvest Day and if you don't say Happy Harvest Day to someone, you are not being politically correct. 

I find it amazing that it is not ok in our society to tell people Merry Christmas, but we can wish them a Happy Thanksgiving. Do they even realize what Thanksgiving is? Yeah Christmas may be when we celebrate the birth of Christ, but Thanksgiving is a day of giving thanks to God. The pilgrims who came to this new world came here for religious freedom, so they could be free to serve God and worship Him in a new land without having to adhere to rules of the church in England. The day they celebrated Thanksgiving was a time for them to come together and give thanks to God for everything He had provided for them in this new land- including shelter, food, and new friends. And most of all to give Him thanks for the new freedom they had to worship God in this new land. 

So really it is such a wonder no one gets offended when I wish them "Happy Thanksgiving".  I don't think they really realize the true meaning behind the day, and well most people don't realize the true meaning behind Christmas so why should it be wrong for me to say Merry Christmas? "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord " and not be politically correct. That last part I added  myself =) I will tell you Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy Valentine's Day (even if you don't believe in love), and Happy Easter. And really how come no one is offended by someone saying Happy Easter either? This world is so messed up... Just my thoughts on the subject

The God of Angel Armies

I have been struggling financially with school for a while and I finally found out today that my prayers were answered, because my school was going to work with me and I will be able to attend next semester. I can't tell you how grateful I am to the Lord who is always by my side. The song "The God of Angel Armies" playing on the radio recently has really been helping me get through this tough time and so I wanted to write a poem about it.

The God of Angel Armies

In this life I get so confused,

Turned around and I am distraught,

About which path I should choose.

This one looks smooth going, but there may be a mountain around that bend.

That one looks rough, 

But it may be leading to a valley at the end.

Which way do I turn...where do I go?

I feel so alone and so rejected.

Lord, where are You and why don't You show?

And so I hang my head in despair

For I feel as if alone I really am...

How can God be truly there?

I didn't realize I kept looking for the loud,

The thunder, the lightening and for His power abundant to show

All mighty and proud.

But it's not in the loud that He is found.

Rather, the still small voice.

And in the quiet I finally hear that glorious sound.

Like an internal voice, deep within my soul

He calls out to me gently and softly

Reassuring me of His presence and promising to make me whole. 

I am beat down on every side,

My adversaries are so many.

I feel like I want to run and hide.

Arrows thrown at me right and left

Lies are flung, deception is tossed

This stealing of my joy is no more than theft. 

But alas the arrows are not allowed to pierce

For the Light of Truth has sent His angels

To guard me and they are mighty and fierce.

They catch the lies and throw away the deception.

They struggle for my joy on my behalf.

They fight for me because God and I have a connection.

The connecting piece to me and God is the Savior of the earth

Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace,

Who came for me by way of a virgin birth.

He fought for me, to cleanse my sin

By hanging on a cross

And as He committed Himself to death- to eternal life I am allowed to enter in.

So crazy as this life may get and as hard as it may be

I should never ever forget

That I serve the God of angel armies who are always watching over me.

Purchased with His blood,

Made true by His resurrected life.

His grace and mercy wash over me like a flood.

That's the God I serve-

The one whom I call Lord

And I can trust in Him even though I don't know what's beyond that curve.

The Great Offender

Ever been truly offended by someone you love and hold dear? It hurts doesn't it? Feels like someone stabbed you in the heart with the knife and they were able to get a really good shot or hit, because they were so close to you. I recently was offended by a good friend of mine and because of it are no longer close friends, but I had to learn how to let go of the offense and forgive her no matter how much she hurt me. Because I hurt Christ far worse when He had to hang on the cross for my sin and no matter what I do, He forgives me and calls me to forgive. This is a poem I wrote about the occasion after hearing a great woman from my school speak on forgiving others while being offended by them. 

The Great Offender

Childlike dreams and fantasies

Oh how we would giggle and talk late into the night

Of possible future realities.

We shared many hopes and dreams

In such close companionship.

We made such a great team, 

Or so I thought.

We dressed up, we laughed.

We fought, we cried.

And we always made up.

Ours was a friendship I thought would always last.

Wedding bells and sea shells,

All a part of our late night chats.

You'd be my maid of honor,

I'd be your bridesmaid- who could want more than that? 

But over time apart we drifted,

And I felt like I never really knew you.

Once with you my spirits were so lifted,

And now they were cast down and hurt.

The news you got married shocked me,

Yes it did and how difficult I found it to be

Excited for you when I hadn't even been invited.

What about those dreams, the chats we had,

The promises we made?

I guess it all meant nothing to you. 

I thought we were so close, 

But now my eyes are opened.

And I'm wounded, in despair, betrayed.

What kind of friend does this?

And I let my hurt seep into my skin.

I was angry, confused, blinded by my own sin.

Unforgivable you were in my eyes,

Though God had called me to forgive. 

How could I forgive someone who offended me so?

But then God's grace began to pour into my life

And He whispered to me to " let it go child".

Then my eyes were truly opened for I could see

That close friends we may never again be,

But I needed to drop this offense and forgive.

For then I could free myself too

and would be able to truly live. 

So I say goodbye to the offense, the hatred, and the scars.

And at the same time say good bye to

The friends I wanted us to be.

Because right now that's what God has revealed to me. 

Alcohol: The Deadly King

My pastor once said "In this nation, alcohol is king" and I couldn't agree more. But alcohol is more than just king in this nation, it's a deadly king that rips apart families and destroys lives. I know, because I watched it rip apart my family and destroy the lives of those I love. And every time someone cracks a joke about being drunk or drinking, I want to scream at them that they don't know anything about what it is like...that they don't truly understand how deadly it is. I close my eyes and the images plague me of what alcohol has done with my family and with those I love. I see the pain of people left behind, hearts broken, lives shattered, and dreams destroyed. I hear the screams vibrating through the walls like it's happening all over again. I close my eyes and I see a boy, barely a man, never at home because he can't stand to be there with all the arguing and the lies. And he's slipping into the trap of drugs and alcohol himself and I can't do anything about it. I see a woman struggling to get by, hanging on by her fingernails, and crying at night when she thinks no one can hear her. I see a young girl about 9 years old all alone with her drunk father and scared for her life. She cries so hard that night, she makes herself sick. And I whisper to myself: "This can't be how it's supposed to be...this can't be what God wants". And yet through all that destruction, somehow God used it to bring about His purpose. It's never His plan for people to drink and be destroyed by alcohol, but He can use lives despite of the destruction alcohol brings.

Sometimes I still take a trip down memory lane and remember the times of screaming, arguing, lies and deception. But then I go on to remember a young man going to jail and finally being brought to his knees and he cries out to God to save him, and God does. A prison sentence away and God opens the door for him to go to Teen Challenge. And today he has not only gone through the program, but he is a head counselor there and going back to college to be a Counselor. And I smile, because that man is my brother and God has brought him so far. I then go on to remember my mom falling in love with a great Christian man and even though I resented him for a while, I see how them together was God's plan. I remember a girl scared of her own shadow and always striving to please people in order to be accepted. And then someone tells her one day that she can never please everyone and the only one she should strive to please is the Lord. And God cuts through the pain and starts to heal her heart. And that girl is me. He has given me courage to stand up for myself, to speak out, and to strive to please Him in all I do and not people. 

Alcohol may be a deadly king in this nation, but God is the ultimate King of Life. When we turn our lives over to Him, He can take what the deadly king did to us and restore it for His glory. I wish my story had a happy ending for every one in my family, but I just don't know yet. Alcohol still consumes one member of my family and I pray everyday that he will finally surrender to the Lord, so the Lord can restore in him what the deadly king has done. I can only hope and pray...but for now I will be thankful for what the Lord has done despite the destruction the deadly king brought.

Beyond Skin Deep...

The girl with the smile plastered on her face seems to have it all together. She's calm and collected. However, there is a battle raging on the inside and she is secretly fighting back tears wrought from a broken home life. She bites her lip slightly to keep her eyes from watering; to keep from giving in to the tears and puts that smile back on her face even though she doesn't feel like it. As people pass by, they see her and think they see a girl who must have a wonderful life and is just so happy she smiles almost all the time. Only those who really know her know that she smiles to hide the pain and the questions and the stares that would come with letting her true emotions show. 

That is just one scenario showing how quick we are to judge others based on just appearances. We may spout off that we don't judge people, but we do. And it starts with that first look. The first time we glance at a person we make some sort of judgment about them based on what we see. When we see someone full of tattoos and piercings we think wow that must be a troubled person. Those types of people could actually be more put together than the pretty blonde with lots of friends. Yes we judge, but as Christians we need to stop our judgment in its tracks instead of letting it take us down a very dangerous street. Judging is one thing; we all do it. However, letting the judgment grow where we start to stereotype the person is another things. We need to remember that while we look at the outward appearance, the Lord looks at the heart as it says in 1 Samuel 16:7. Certainly "The Lord does not look at things man looks at" as it states earlier in that same verse. We are so quick to judge by appearances and let that judgment become full-grown to where we might reject the person if they don't fit into our plan of the types of people we should talk to. However, God has called us to tell everyone the good news and to show love to everyone, not just the people we think fit into our group. We have to remember God died for the person with the piercings and the tattoos all over their body too. He didn't just die for us- somewhat "perfect" Christians who are unblemished on the outside. No one is unblemished on the inside though- we all sin and that sin leads to death without Jesus. Through the one who can truly peer into the heart and beyond our skin comes salvation and true healing. 

Next time you start to judge someone based on what you see just remember that there is so much more than meets the eye. The Lord knows the heart of each and every person, while we do not. We only see the outside, but we need to look through the appearance of a person and try to see them the way Jesus sees them. Someone He loved so much, He died for them. Not just a person with a pretty face or a messed up face, but someone who has hopes, dreams, and fears. Someone who is searching for someone to love them. Will you show them that unconditional love only found in Jesus? Are you willing to look beyond skin deep?

Homeward Bound

Today my mom and I reached our final destination when we pulled my small 2005 white dodge neon into our driveway in the sunny state of Florida. After a year of being away at school, I was finally home for the summer. The anticipation was building every mile of the drive back home and the joy in reaching our final destination brought a smile to my face. We were greeted with hugs from the family and jumping from my anxious beagle-mix Peanut. A certain 5 year old girl was so excited to see both me and my mom that she literally jumped up and down with excitement and kept exclaiming "You're here!" The fact I had been looking forward to this moment of returning home for the summer all semester just got me to thinking of how on this earth, as Christians, we are just passing through and on a journey to our final destination: Heaven. We are all homeward bound as we work our way to the gates of glory through the journey of this life. And just as me and my mom were greeted with excitement and hugs from family, I can just imagine how excited Jesus is going to be when we step into those pearly gates and right into His arms for a warm embrace. 


As we go through this life we should have a healthy sort of anticipation for when we reach our final destination and one day touch our feet on those golden shores; when we step foot into our real home- a home with Jesus in Heaven. As we go through this life, we should never forget that this is not our home and this world is only temporary. We are merely passing through, sort of pilgrims making our way to our homeland. This sure gives one a new perspective on life and helps to remind us that what is done for eternity is what will last- things done for this world are temporary and fleeting. The trophies, houses, cars, and other possessions will one day turn to dust and fade into the distance. Only that which is done for eternity will last and so we should store up our treasures in heaven and not on the earth. Living for Christ everyday and living in such a manner that the next breath could be our last is one way to make sure that when we do reach our final destination we can willingly run into the Father's arms with no regrets and no fears. 


And so I am merely passing through this earth on a journey to my homeland. I, along with many other believers, are simply homeward bound. I pray that I can make the journey worthwhile so when one day I reach those golden shores I can run up to the Father unashamed and content with the way I have lived my life on earth. Living in such a way that is worthy of my eternal home. 

The Face of Love

Love has many different faces. For some- it can be in the face of fortune and a face of fame. As for me- love comes in the face of something much grander than money could ever buy. As for me, one of love's faces happens to rest with the dimpled cheeks of a woman with blue-green eyes. A woman who has endured hardship and come out stronger, one who has clung to the Lord with all she had even during the tough times, and through it all showed me what love really means. How many other women can you say went through tough times where they were treated like dirt and yet they pressed on and clung to their faith in Christ through everything? Or who repaid hatred and evil with love and kindness? Well I can say that a thousand times over about one very special woman in my life- the one in whom I see the face of love every single day. That woman is none other than my mom.


My Mom raised me up teaching me the precepts of the Lord and how to follow in His ways. Even when she was going through heartbreak and a divorce, she clung to the Lord and tried to be strong for me and my brother. She was a single mom with two children who would give anything for her children, even her own life if she had to and she acted this love out everyday. When the money was tight, the bills were overflowing, and when it didn't seem that groceries were going to be a possibility for that week- she just pressed on and did whatever she had to to keep us going. She was humble enough to accept help when it was offered her and she served regularly in the church, helping to give back to the Lord all the blessings He had bestowed on her. She taught me so much of how to really live life and live it well to the glory of God. She maintained a face of calm and strength for me day after day, no matter what was going on.  I knew she cried in the bedroom sometimes at night when she thought she was all alone and no one could hear her. Yet each morning she was ready to tackle a new day, get me ready and off to school, get herself to work, get dinner on the table, work with me at nights with school work or memory verses for church, then get me ready and put me to bed. I don't know how she did it day after day no matter what was going on except for the fact I know she relied on the Lord's strength to get her through. This kind of self-sacrifice on my mom's part to put forth her best for us no matter what was going on and her relying on Christ through it all showed me what love really means. Love isn't buying someone extravagant gifts, or saying sweet words that sound nice to hear. Love can certainly be expressed in these ways, but love to me is portrayed the best with actions. Love is that kind touch putting a cool cloth to your forehead when you are burning up with fever, or taking the time to help you with your homework, playing with you, and spending time with you. 


For some the face of love may be in money or in things, but to me one of the most important faces of love will forever be in my mom. No amount of money or stuff in this world can buy or take that kind of love away. That's the face of love. 

The Master Painter

This morning at church Pastor Eric at WBC was talking about God's purpose for our lives and how He is the painter and sometimes when the brush hits the canvas, it can be painful, but we have to trust the Sovereign hands that paint our lives.  I got to thinking how we are God's canvas and God is the artist and He knows what He is doing. Me telling Him how the picture should be painted is like an amateur telling Vincent Van Gogh how to paint. It's ridiculous! No matter what happens in our lives, God promises us that He will complete the good work He started in us as stated in Philippians 1:6. He never promises that this process will not be painful, but that the work will be completed in His way. I wrote a poem titled The Master Painter based on today's sermon and the concept of God being a painter. I will share it below:

The Master Painter

My life is a canvas,

It started out white and clean.

Then the Painter splashed colors on it,

And painted strokes as experiences

In my life came along.

It looks messy in the process,

But more is waiting to be seen.

Some strokes are rough

And sorrows come-

A Broken heart, shattered dreams, a friendship lost,

The list goes on,

And oh the pain!

But the rough strokes are necessary

Alongside the smooth...

To create the masterpiece

that God gets to choose.

I may beg Him for the smooth strokes-

The smiles, the laughter,

The happiness that lasts for hours and hours-

But alas He lovingly splatters on the paint in

Rough strokes and whispers to me,

"Trust me, my child,

For you may not see,

But this picture of your life,

Oh how beyond beautiful it is going to be,

When time comes for it to be done.

These rough strokes are part of my plan for you-

Though painful at times it allows me 

To draw you closer and fulfills

My Purpose on the canvas of your life."

And so I trust the Painter

With the rough and the smooth.

When the paint goes on gently and thin,

And when it goes on quick, harsh, and thick.

Splashes of color,

Sometimes dreary and gray,

Sometimes bright like a sunny day.

So take this canvas, Lord,

Do with it what You will.

For You are the Master Painter.

What I see may look like a catastrophe,

But what You see is the making of a beautiful masterpiece.

God is the amazing painter who takes the messy and rough strokes along with the smooth, easy strokes to create a beautiful masterpiece on the canvas of our lives! We may not understand why the picture has to be painted the way it does and sometimes we must just simply trust in the Master Painter and that he will fulfill His purpose in our lives. And yes, those rough strokes filled with pain and heartache are actually needed. They give the painting character and depth and cause it to be unique, and when done a one-of-a-kind masterpiece that all the world can marvel at when they see your life as a whole and say "Wow, see what the Master Painter has done."

Cinderella Dreams

“Cinderella Dreams…”

From the time I was just a little girl; I have always closed my eyes and imagined dancing in a princess dress on the tops of my daddy’s feet. And while I would get caught up in the moment of imagining spinning around with such a dad, I was always forced to open my eyes and face reality. I did not have a relationship with my dad like that. How much I had longed to dance with a dad like that, one that was there. Mine simply was not. It was as if the clock struck midnight on my dreams, causing my images of dancing in a princess dress and glass slippers to fade to the reality of my Tweety Bird jumper and the sandals on my feet. I was somewhat like a Cinderella and while I did not lose my dad tragically such as in the retelling of the classic story Ever After, I simply never had that craved relationship with my dad. I was a Cinderella who was faced with the reality of a fallen father and a broken home life with no hope of dancing at a royal ball, even if just for a while. I could dream all I wanted, but just like Cinderella’s night at the ball didn’t last…neither did my dreams last. Midnight would always strike causing me to wince with the pain of the depressing world of reality in my life. For some girls reality might have been having a wonderful relationship with their father and getting to share in a time of dancing with their daddies. However for me, reality was a home life with a father gone way too much to ever really get to know him and it would only get worse. I might have had some fond memories with my dad, but they soon dissipated as I looked on my dad more like a stranger in my life. I didn’t know him and he didn’t know me. I grew up in a broken home with a father who was gone a lot on TDY’s with the airforce and turmoil was happening right under our noses without us knowing until a little later. My parents split up when I was in the 4^th grade for a year and ended up finalizing a divorce sometime in my 5^th or 6^th grade year. I had a horrible relationship with my father and even now am not where I would like to be in my relationship with him. In fact, I never had much of a relationship with him at all. My story is just one like many other girls have gone through and who may be going through the same thing today.. I hope that these girls can come to realize what it took me a long time to understand. Our God is a God to the fatherless and even if you have a father, his absence in your life makes you about the same as fatherless. He longs to fill the spot your earthly dad doesn’t and even more. He is our Abba Father- our Daddy

Perhaps you too only have Cinderella dreams in your life. Your father may not even be present in your life anymore, or perhaps you just don’t have a good relationship with him. Either way your heart is aching for the spot to be filled; a spot a godly father should fill. One who leads you in the right direction in life and loves spending time with you. Deep down every girl has a desire to be close with her dad. This does not mean you may look at your dad with that same yearning. Circumstances and things he has done may have caused you to grow bitter, but your bitterness begins with the root of the problem: a failed relationship with your father. Most likely, you are disappointed that he doesn’t fill that spot of leading his daughter in the Lord by example and spending time with you. All you have is Cinderella dreams that fade as midnight strikes and you are forced to face reality. However, there is hope. Just because your dad is not present in your life, does not mean you have to be without a dance partner. God longs to be your Abba Father; the One who asks you, His Princess, “May I have this dance?” And He does not ask for just a dance, but for the dance of your life.