A Christian Crab

Also while at the Women's Retreat with my church this past weekend while spending some time on the beach I took some time to observe the crabs. Some small and some bigger that scurried across the sand searching for a meal with their claws up in defense. I got to thinking how much I used to be like that crab, even as a Christian, and how at least once in our life we all go through the stage of being like a crab.

There was a time when I still believed in God, but I had been hurt so much and I buried my feelings so deep, shutting myself out from the outside world. I was just a crab scurrying across the sand of life merely looking out for my own survival. I had a hard outer shell and claws up in defense for anyone who dared to get too close. I gave the appearance of being tough and hard, when underneath that hard outer shell was such a soft skin. It was the ones closest to me who had wounded my heart so deeply and while I ached and attempted to let it heal, I did what I thought was best. I kept others at a distance thinking that if I didn't let someone get too close then maybe I would not be wounded so deeply ever again. I kept my emotions in check, my feelings intact, and portrayed a look of someone just trying to get by. I was just like the crab only looking out for itself and struggling to survive. Others had their own ways of coping with their problems, whether losing themselves in drink or intoxicating drugs. Everyone seemed to think I was dealing with the situation so well, when really I was just withdrawing into my hole and forming a hard outer shell to hide how I really felt. Whenever someone tried to break into that shell and get close I held them at bay. I snapped and pinched with my claws always up for defense. I stopped talking to people I had been close to and held off the others who attempted as best I could. I told myself I would not love; that it hurt to much and I reprimanded myself when I dare let any glimmer of hope of love or trust in.

Through that stage of my life I realize, especially now, that the focus was all on me. On how I was going to get by, on how much I was hurting, and how it was so unfair that this was happening to me. I did not stop to think that God might have a plan for all of this in the long run, which He most certainly did. I might have realized this was affecting others around me, but I did not focus on them. I didn't ever really stop and think how much they were going through. No- I was a crab and so I had no time to look out for others, it was survival of the fittest and I had to be ready to defend for anything that could break me down and make me feel. But praise the Lord who finally got through to my inner core and was able to break that outer shell, helping me to heal and make me whole.

Looking back on it now, I am glad God showed me that I did not have to be stuck being a crab always hiding in my shell. But that he could change me and make me into who I am today. We, as Christians, were not meant to be crabs- chasing people away. But to be caring and loving, reaching out to those in need with encouragement and grace. Just as the Father reaches out to all us crabs, we are to minister and touch not only the lost, but also the other Christian crabs who have lost their focus and are just looking to survive.

The Sands and Seas of Times

I just got back from a Women's Retreat with my church out on the beach and while there I had a lot of time to just be alone with God and ponder life while sitting on the shore. Some of my deepest thoughts come to me when I sit on the beach- my favorite place to be and what I consider my sanctuary. I couldn't stop thinking of Psalm 139:17-18 where it says "How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand." And every time I looked down at the soft white sand I sifted my feet through I thought of how small each piece was and how many there were- and even beyond that unfathomable number are God's thoughts for us and according to Jeremiah 29:11 those thoughts are "of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." What a great and mighty God I serve, that He thinks of me more than the sum of the grains of sand and that His thoughts are so precious towards me!

I also got to looking out at the waves and how the blue green water was churned up by the tide, carried back and forth by each and every wave. Some waves bigger and rougher than others, while some remained small and calm. Life is a lot like we are a sail boat in the water, being tossed to and fro by the winds and storms of life. Sometimes the waves in life are small and calm, but then comes times of trouble and tempests. We may try to sail and go our own course, but when the wind is strong enough and the waves big enough our sails can split in two. Our efforts simply fail. We are guided by a much stronger force, no matter how much we may try to sail our "own boat". The One who has crafted the ocean, has charted out the course of the sea of our life. It's not always going to be smooth sailing, but He will always get you through. And sometimes you may not understand what is going on and why the storms in life seem to only be getting bigger. But we don't need to know the why, the how, or the when. God has not promised us that we would ever know that and sometimes we simply will just find out later when we see the bigger picture that God sees while right now we only see a glimpse. We simply need to know the who- that Christ, the One who can walk on the water and calm the storms of life, through it all is our closest friend.

Beware the Shadows

I was noticing a simple concept while I was sitting in church the other day. How when light is shone darkness flees, but when objects are put in the way of the light it casts shadows; areas of gray-not completely dark, but not light either. It got me to thinking how as Christians many times even though we are filled with the light of Christ we let objects get in the way whether it be fame, fortune, friends, habits, possessions...you name it. Anything that gets in the way of Christ in our lives or replaces Him as first in our lives casts a shadow in our hearts. Then we are stuck with these gray areas that may not be bad in of themselves, but when they are taking the place of Christ they are blocking out the Light. It is only when we rid ourselves of these objects from the throne in our heart that only Christ should sit upon that we allow the full light of Jesus to shine within our hearts and out to the world, making the darkness flee.

The Lord instructs us in Matthew 5:16 to "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." However, when we allow things to crowd our hearts and take the place of Christ-losing our first love for Him who is worthy- we are hiding our light...causing shadows to be cast. "

No one, when he has lit a lamp, puts it in a secret place or under a basket, but on a lamp stand, that those who come in may see the light."(Luke 11:33) Putting a lit lamp under a basket or in a secret place does not cause the light to go out. The light is still there, but it is harder to notice it because it is hidden. Shadows are caused to be cast, confusing the world of what a Christian really is. The world can not make out how we are any different than the dark when our light is hidden and shadows are being portrayed in our lives. It is when we set this light on the lamp stand for all to see, not allowing anything to get in the way, that we show the world what being a Christian is all about: giving glory to our Father in heaven.

So beware the objects that cast shadows in your life. Make sure to put Christ first and let your light shine unhindered in a dark world to preach the gospel to all. Whatever you do, beware the shadows for they are places of great caution and danger.

Happy Birthday America...

Yesterday we celebrated the birthday of our great nation America or what most of us know as the 4th of July or Independence Day. It made me ponder how independent as a nation we have become, but not from something horrible but from something good. We have started to become independent of God. Instead of relying on God who was the foundation for the founding of this country, people have become to rely and be dependent on themselves or the government. Problem is when we look to the government or inside ourselves for answers we end up with tangled messes because we can't do it right without God directing our steps.

I am reminded of a piece from a Casting Crowns song "United States of America looks like another silent night. As we're sung to sleep by philosophies that save the trees and kill the children. And while we're lying in the dark there's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky;for the Bridegroom has returned and has carried His bride away in the night. "

"America, what will we miss while we are sleeping? Will Jesus come again and leave us slumbering where we lay? America, will we go down in history as a nation with no room for its King? Will we be sleeping?"

Too long this nation has been sleeping. Instead of rising up and acknowledging our need for God to direct our country and our lives, we have been pushing Him away as much as possible. First we took Him out of schools as if you could deny the Creator of the Universe from going anywhere He pleased! Then we decided to take His commandments out of our court house. Time and again we have done everything in our power to get rid of Him, but who can cast off God? As if 9/11 wasn't enough of a wake up call for this country showing us how much we need Him. And how things fail and come crumbling down around us when we try doing it without Him. How sad...so yes, Happy Birthday America but oh how you should be grieving...

The Greatest Love Letter Ever Penned

I was writing my friend a letter today and I got to thinking about the love letter that God has written to us- the Bible. I always get excited to get letters from my friends from afar and seem to want to read them as soon as I get them. I will pour over the words for a good time and laugh and smile and sometimes even cry...I will lift up my voice in prayer for the writer and then will send back a response as soon as I am able to. So it got me wondering why I am not so excited to read the best letter of all- the one that God wrote through time and made available to us to show us He loves us and is with us. It also gives us guidance and direction for living the Christian life. It is like our road map. Without it we are lost. Failing to read it is like failing to get any directions for a road trip going to Washington, and end up in Arizona. It's just ridiculous! Yet, how many times do we fail to acknowledge the importance of being in that Book?

I should be pouring over the words with the same zeal as I would with a letter from my friend, because in fact Jesus is my best friend; the best one I could ever have. And He's done something that none of my other friends have done. He has laid down His life for mine. In John 15:13 it says "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for His friends." I should also be lifting up my voice in prayer and responding to God, the One who longs to be my friend and to hear from me. I mean He actually desires to have a personal relationship with us, and that goes far beyond religion! He needs to hear my feedback, my questions, my ponderings. Because when I am truly digging in the Word and asking the Lord to reveal His truth, having a pure heart, the Holy Spirit will allow me to be enlightened with the knowledge God wishes to impart with us through His Scripture.

Like gems in a quarry are God's words in His Bible. They are beautiful and precious, and there for the taking-but we have to go looking for them. The Lord has promised to us who go looking "Ask, and it will be given to you, seek and you WILL find; knock, and it will be opened to you". (Matthew 7:7) The guidebook of how to live the Christian life is found within His Word and without regularly being in it- we will fail at living a life pleasing to Christ.

Hello Blogging World!

This is my first time I have ever had a blog and my first entry. So I suppose I am telling myself welcome to the blogging world and hello to all of you out there! I hope that I can use this blog to glorify my Heavenly Father by writing about what the Lord is teaching me and what I perceive from His holy and living Word. About 5 or so years ago at a church youth camp during the summer the Lord revealed to me my life verse (which is by the way, something in the Bible that connects with you personally and encourages you in the faith)...ok so it's more like a passage, but it's found in 1 Corinthians 1:26-29.

"For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty, and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence."

God used this passage to reveal to me many things over the course of my life as of yet. At first it encouraged me, because I did not consider myself to have that good of a past and I always looked at all these people who seemed to have it all and thinking just with how messed up I am that the Lord could never use me. Oh but when I saw this, my eyes were opened and I was blind no more. I was able to see that the Lord called for people like me. Someone who is made to nothing so that they can broadcast that God is everything! This is my calling-not to be wise in the world's eyes or chase after wordly possesions or knowledge-but to come to the point where I realize I am nothing but a fool without Christ and even all my foolish behaviors, my wicked words, and my flaming sinful flesh God can turn around for His glory and use even me for the furtherance of His kingdom.

Over time I also realized how this passage showed me that God brings me to a place of brokenness and realizing that "having it all" in the world's standards is to gain nothing at all in the light of eternity. I am called and chosen by Him, even though I am weak and despised and foolish. Furthermore, I am called for this purpose to share the light of the gospel to the world not that my flesh should glory in His presence, but that He gets all the glory! To God alone be the glory, for He is the only One who deserves it.

Our one sole purpose in life is to live our lives a pleasing sacrifice to further His kingdom (Romans 12:1) and in everything we say and do to glorify God. ( 1 Corinthians 6:20 & 1 Corinthians 10:31).