Thanks to you...

         

Thanks to you....I learned that people can't be trusted.

Thanks to you....I had to deal with a broken heart before I was even old enough to know how to cope with it. 

Thanks to you....I have a hard time when people make promises, because I am expecting them to break it even while hoping that they don't. 

Thanks to you...people looked at me weird when I yelled at them for making fun of drunk people, because they had no idea what it was like to live with one. 

Thanks to you....I found out that one could indeed actually be so scared that they make themselves sick. 

Thanks to you....I  grew up fast and was confused with the role reversals. 

Thanks to you...I cried many nights and prayed for sleep to come just so I could escape my thoughts. 

Thanks to you...I woke up in the middle of the night screaming with night terrors. 

Thanks to you...I have a hard time trusting men. 

Thanks to you...I am not even 100% sure what a good earthly father looks like. 

Thanks to you...I can't truly enjoy when people give me a lot of gifts, because I am wondering at the back of my mind if they feel guilty for something.

Thanks to you...I am afraid of even drinking one glass of wine, because I don't want to end up like you. (But turns out I hate the taste of it, so that's how God works for you lol).

Thanks to you...I freak out when ever things change. The bigger the change, the higher my anxiety level.

Thanks to you...I wasn't even out of high school when I learned how to go visit people in jail and knew the ins and outs of security checks. 

Thanks to you...I lost many nights of sleep, struggled to survive, and learned how to put up walls. 

These are all true from growing up with an alcoholic father, but my story doesn't stop there...because....

Thanks to you....I learned that Jesus can be trusted.

Thanks to you... I realized that the best one to hold my broken heart is Jesus Christ. 

Thanks to you...I figured out that God's promises are always true and He doesn't lie. 

Thanks to you...I have learned from your mistakes and have no desire to ever follow in your footsteps. God has showed me that I can break the cycle. 

Thanks to you...Now when I am scared I remember the God who was with me through it all and sing praises to Him.

Thanks to you...I learned my role in God's Kingdom and it gave me new purpose and meaning.

Thanks to you...I can lie my head down to sleep now and when I start crying, remembering those days, I can just drift to sleep in peace because I know my God holds my tears in a bottle. 

Thanks to you...when I wake up with night terrors, it just gives me an opportunity to spend sweet time with Jesus. 

Thanks to you...I learned the tell tale signs of the type of guy I don't want to marry and it has helped me realize what men can be trusted. 

Thanks to you...I turned to the Scripture to figure out what a dad really is supposed to be. 

Thanks to you...I learned that Jesus is the greatest gift-giver and there are no strings attached. 

Thanks to you...I didn't have to learn the hard way what alcohol can do to you and how it can destroy relationships 

Thanks to you...I can handle changes better, because I know my God NEVER changes. 

Thanks to you...I have compassion for people, want to help, and strive to love even the unlovable. 

Thanks to you...I am very thrifty, financially responsible, and learned that God is a God of second chances and grace which helps my walls fall down. 

Sure, growing up with you was tough. I don't feel hatred or resentment anymore, but are there nights then the past comes back to haunt me and I remember how I felt? You bet. But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Yes I actually said that. I'm glad you were my dad. Why? Because I really doubt I would be close to Jesus if I hadn't gone through all that. God showed me that He cares for the broken hearted and is a father to the fatherless. Would I have come running into His arms so willingly if I hadn't been so wounded? I really don't think so. Many times when we are at our lowest, we learn how much we really need God. And I am so very glad that I learned that. I hope I never forget it. So thank you, for being my dad and teaching me some of the greatest lessons ever. Thanks for teaching me what it really means to put forgiveness in action and letting me practice loving a difficult person. Why? Because...that's how God loves and I want to love like He does. 

                                Thanks to you....I have been rescued and redeemed.