You know you're a true Floridian when...

Thought it would be fun to fill out my own list of how you can know if you are a true Floridian with things I have encountered living in Florida. Enjoy!

You know you're a true Floridian when....
1) You don't have snow days, you have storm days. 
2) You know how to ready a house for a hurricane and can do it quickly. 
3) You don't really worry much over tropical storms, it's only when it becomes the "h-word" that you start to worry maybe just a bit.
4) You are on a first name basis with tropical storms and hurricanes. All you have to do is say "Remember when Ivan came in 2005?" and people here know what you are talking about . 
5) The closest thing you will get to a white Christmas is strolling on the beach with white as snow sandy shores. 
6) You know what to do if you get caught in a rip current and when you are caught in one, you don't panic. Just like you are taught to do.
7) You are well versed in the ways of the ocean and know all about the different flags and precautions. 
8) You know that if it's a double red flag you best be getting out of that ocean! 
9) You shake your head at tourists who feed the seagulls, because you know to never do that.
10) You own a pair of flip flops for every occasion (even church), because hey it's Florida and you just never know when you might need a pair. 
11) You can never have too many beach towels.
12) You know not to stay out in the Florida heat too long during the summer and if you go to the beach when it's very hot, you make sure to get in the water. 
13)You think people are crazy for going to Disney World during the summer. You know that is NOT the time to go. 
14) When you see a blue tarp, it reminds you of FEMA workers and aftermath of hurricanes.
15) You are used to your school becoming a shelter after a major hurricane if needed and being out of school for a while. 
16) You know what an MRE is. 
17) You love the beach, but you don't go there as often as you'd like. 

Can anyone else relate to this?

Saving My Father

I saw "Saving Mr. Banks" yesterday with my mom. It's a movie about the making of Mary Poppins and about the life of the writer. It ends up being a lot about the writer when she was growing up and the relationship she had with her father. The movie is really about her father who was a banker, hence the name "Saving Mr. Banks". This movie really touched me, made me cry. More so than most other movies. It was because I saw how the writer as a little girl pined for her father and her heart broke as she watched her father drink himself to death *spoiler alert*. And it was there I couldn't get myself to stop crying...for I could see myself as that little girl and that man as my father. And I know how it feels to watch someone you love trapped in a prison of their own making. You just want to set them free, but you can't. You keep watching the vicious cycle take its toll and you just want to make it stop. But it won't stop...because you can't stop it. So I loved the movie, but it touched me deeply in ways other films can't because I could personally relate to the author and her heartbreak over her father. I pray every night for my father, wondering sometimes if it's all just in vain, and yet scared to admit that's how I feel. My dad isn't dead, but it doesn't mean I didn't see him wasting his life away. It hurts to watch ones you love suffer, especially when all you can do is pray. Because you feel so helpless and worthless and small. But it's all you have to offer so you keep wishing and keep praying. The thing that makes it the most difficult is that I love him. That's so much harder than hating him. It's easier to give up and just be devoid of feeling, to not care. But I can't do that. I love my father too much and so I will always continue to pray for him and hope and pray that he can be saved too. In a way I guess I am hoping for the "Saving of Mr. Banks" too, yet for my own father.

The Problem with Christmas

Some people may not have a problem with the commercialism of Christmas and the obsession over a fat guy in a red suit that supposedly brings presents to all the kids of the world on one night. However, I do. Now I am not saying that doing Santa is wrong, but I have a problem with how big of a thing it has become to be. I would much rather focus on what Christmas is really about- the birth of my Savior, the Savior of the world. And yes I have also heard from countless people about how Christmas is really a pagan holiday and Christians shouldn't celebrate it. Truth is it was created to combat a pagan holiday- it is merely a time we can take what was meant for bad and use it for good- to celebrate Jesus' birth. I like the way my pastor explained it this past Wednesday night at church. Every single day of the week is named after a pagan god, but if he can use that day and live for the glory of God then he is not observing a pagan day. He feels that we just need to raise up Christ on any day, even a day such as Christmas. But it's the raising up of Christ I want- not the commercialism and all the Santa stuff that the world makes it out to be. 

So no I have no desire to do Santa with my kids one day or things like Elf on the Shelf. If we do Santa, they will know about the true Santa (St. Nicholas) and what he represented, that he's not real today and the true meaning of Christmas is Jesus. Jesus is what will be lifted up in my house. I want my kids to focus on his birth. We will do things like make a birthday cake for Jesus, put up the nativity, read the accounts of Jesus' birth in the Bible, learn the true meaning of giving, give gifts to Jesus, and hopefully adopt some traditions like the wise men coming a few days after Christmas to leave gifts in our shoes (shows how they traveled a long way to find the Christ child and brought Him gifts).

All you Elf on the Shelf lovers out there, don't judge me for what I am about to say. But I abhor the Elf on the Shelf. Why choose something else you "have" to do when you are already so busy in the Christmas season? Why do you need to have a toy that sits in various places in your house, sometimes creating mischief (that you have to clean up) in order to supposedly report to "Santa" if the children have been good or bad? I know some people just use this to hide in different places each day and have the child find it and it's a fun thing. But I want nothing to do with a toy elf in my house. I would rather hide the wise men from the nativity in different places each day for the child to find and read Scripture verses about them each day. You may wonder why I am so turned off by Elf on the Shelf. Well, I babysat a little boy once and the mother told me if he was bad to just remind him that the toy elf sitting on the mantle was watching him and would report to Santa. I just looked at her like "Are you serious"? I wasn't telling a child some toy was watching him. How about Jesus is watching you all the time and wants you to be kind and nice? How about teaching the children how rewarding it is to have good behavior? This one mother's comment on the Elf on the Shelf immediately turned me off from it. You may have your own convictions about it, but I don't want it in my house. Why have a toy that is supposed to create mischief try to teach your children to be good? Isn't that somewhat contradictory? I am going on what it tells you to do with the Elf on the Shelf when you buy one and what countless numbers of parents do. So don't judge me, but those are my convictions about it. I wish more people saw it that way, but a lot just don't. 

Those are my problems with Christmas- the commercialism, the silliness of a toy to see if you are good or bad, and the shift off of Jesus. The focus in my house will not just be Christ first, but Christ in everything. Not just on Christmas, but every single day of the year.  That's the way it should be.

Back in Paradise

I have recently just moved from the rolling hills of North Carolina where I was attending Laurel University back to my home state: Florida. I am finishing up my last semester of Laurel University online and completing my student teaching down here. I love being home, being with family, my dog, and the beach. However, it was still not an easy move. I left part of my heart behind in North Carolina. I will forever and always cherish the people I came close to up there and my church home. I also am even further away from my fiance now for a time and that really pains me. I know that the Lord has opened up this opportunity for me to come back home for a time so I do look forward to what He is going to teach me this upcoming year. He taught me last year to really get out of my comfort zone, be bold for Him and fully trust Him in everything. I wonder what lessons I shall encounter this year. I do know He has orchestrated everything so far. He has enabled me to be able to start student teaching at a Christian school that is ACSI (Association of Christian Schools International) certified and that is what I am going to school for. I will be working with the first grade and there are only 10 students! I am so excited. I was kind of scared about student teaching there, but God gave me more confirmation when I met with them this week and found out that the elementary principal went to college with my former youth pastor and was friends with him. How neat is that! 

I look forward to where God is going to take me this upcoming year in my adventures of student teaching and finishing up my Senior year at Laurel University to gain my BA in Elementary Education. It may not all be roses, I may encounter a few thorns...but I know God will be with me all the way just like He always has been. Please stay tuned to hear about my adventures as a student teacher and my posts about Christmas/memories.

Daddy's Girl

There is nothing quite like a bond between a girl and her father. However, I will be the first to admit something. I am really not that close to my father. Years of heartbreak and bad choices made it that way, but I don’t like it one bit. Deep down I have always been a daddy’s girl and longed to be close to my father. Why? You might ask. Well I really don’t know, I just do. Sure my dad has made mistakes and hurt me in the past, but haven’t we all made mistakes and hurt someone? The same Son of God that hung cursed on a tree and died for me and my sins, died for him too. I forgive my dad for the past hurts, just as Christ forgives me. This doesn’t mean I have forgotten what he did or that the pain isn’t there anymore. It’s always there…I will never forget this side of Glory. This doesn’t mean I don’t struggle sometimes with forgiving him. Notice I didn’t say I have forgiven him, but that I forgive him. It’s a constant action, a decision I make daily. When the pain comes back to haunt me will I let it eat me up with bitterness? Or will I choose to let it go once again and forgive? Most days I choose to let it go. I will be honest…some days I am just plain bitter and I wrestle with God over it. Until He hits me on the head with this realization once again and it brings me to tears and I unclench my fists and let go. The realization that the nail scarred hands and the pierced brow from a crown of thorns was a result of Jesus dying not just for me, but for him too. And so, while sometimes it hurts tremendously, I love my dad.

My dad, the man who broke my heart and made me not want to love again, is looked on in a different light. With God’s grace I can remember the good times, as few as they may seem to me. We moved to the Panhandle of Florida and the Gulf Coast when I was just about to turn 5 years old. I instantly fell in love with the white as snow sandy shores, and the emerald green waters. This was a love I shared with my dad. Lovers of the beach, we were, longing to catch a glimpse of God’s glory at the seashore. Days of swimming with him at the beach, and riding on the back of his wave runner come to mind. We raced across the waves and the spray from the sea hit our faces. I remember one time we came across dolphins, a mother with a baby, and rode along with them. I am thankful for these memories that I can cherish, that I can recall when the bad memories try to pry their way into my heart.

Memories of my dad don’t have to be all bad. Whenever I take out a piece of paper and start to doodle or draw, I am reminded of my mom telling me once “You must have gotten that from your dad. I can only draw stick people.” While I may not be the best with art, I got any abilities I do have for drawing from my father. And my love of history and World War 2, where does that stem from? Sure my mom likes history a bit as well, but my dad used to eat it up with movies and books. I am like my dad in that respect too.

Some people don’t have any good memories with their dads. I do. I am realizing more and more how blessed I am because of this. Sure I have my share of the bad memories, but they are not all I have. And who says I have to focus on them? I pray that the only time I make mention of the bad memories is so I can use my experiences to help someone else in their walk. Not to try and get pity, or share a sob story, but to let those going through some of the same things know this: I understand. I was there too. And most importantly, God understands. He knows what you are going through. You are not alone. It’s easy to feel alone when you are living in the midst of bad memories, when you let Satan whisper lies to your heart and you start to believe them. Lies that you are all alone. But you are not! Jesus says, come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest. If you are weary or heavy burdened, will you come to Him today? Come to the one who will give you true rest and know You are NEVER alone!

My North Carolina Bucket List

Just about a month left until I move back home to Florida, which means there are some things I want to accomplish in North Carolina before moving back if at all possible. It's my North Carolina bucket list and I have accomplished some of them already since being up here. The ones I have completed have a star* by them.

1) Build a snowman *
2) Go sledding *
3) Make a snow angel and catch snowflakes on my tongue *
4) Go to Butterfly Farm *
5) Go to High Point Museum *
6) Go to Old Salem *
7) Go to Hanes Mall in Winston-Salem (haven't been yet)
8) Go to Four Seasons Mall in Greensboro *
9) Go to Guilford County Courthouse- where the Civil War officially ended
10) Go to Greensboro Science Center and see new sciquarium there (doing that today!)
11) Go to Greensboro Arboretum *
12) Go to North Carolina Zoo in Asheboro *
13) Eat a handmade crepe at Penny Path Cafe *
14) Eat a Mediterranean meal at Sumela's in High Point *
15) Eat at a Cook Out *
16) Go to Renaissance Festival
17) Go to Corn maze *
18) Go to Hot Air Balloon Fesitval (missed this :( 
19) Go to Dixie Classic Fair in Winston-Salem *
20) Go to a play at High Point University
21) Go see the Christmas lights at Tanglewood Park
22) Go to indoor trampoline center *
23) Go to High Point's Museum of Furniture or something like that
24) Go to Sci Works in Winston- Salem *
25) Go to Hanging Rock State Park and hike to see the waterfalls
26) Go to Grandfather Mountain


Those are all that I can think of at the moment. If I think of more, I will add them later. Yay for completing things on my bucket list- including today. I am heading to the Greensboro Science Center today to see their new sciquarium with my fiance. Fun fun!! What is your bucket list?

Confessions of a Torn Heart

I am moving back home to Florida in December and I kind of feel like a porcelain doll being pulled both ways. I love it here in North Carolina, but I also love it in Florida. I feel torn and have mixed feelings about the whole thing, but I am trying to resolve myself to the fact that yes I am moving back home and I need to come to grips with it. While I will miss my school, my job, my church and some of the people up here.... I really do love Florida. I have decided to start focusing on the positives of moving back home...starting with making a list of what I love about Florida.  So here goes:

1) My family is there and ,to me, family is very important.
2) Midway Baptist Church- the place where I grew up and got saved.
3) I have some friends that are dear to my heart in Florida.
4) The Beach- a special sanctuary for my soul
5) Tropical Smoothie ( I have not seen one up here)
6) My favorite restaurant of all time- Magnolia Grill is back at home in Florida
7) Wearing flip flops every season of the year ( I do that here and I get some weird looks!)
8) Wearing Sundresses a lot more than up here
9) My dog is at home in Florida and I miss him so much.
10) Small town feel back at home and yet can go to the "city" if I so desire
11) The Beach- the waves, the white sugar sand, and the creatures
12) Vinnie R's (another one of my favorite restaurants that is local)
13) My church family
14) I almost always will run into someone I know back at home
15) Bealls and Bealls Outlet. They don't have those up here.
16) A real TJ Maxx not too far away
17) AC Moore not too far away
18) Some of the most beautiful sunsets
19) Great thrift store shopping
20) Did I mention the beach?!

Those are some of the reasons why I love Florida and my hometown. I hope to be able to keep focusing on these positives instead of sulking about everything I will be leaving behind in North Carolina. North Carolina, you will not be forgotten with your hills, Fall foliage, mountains, and people...but Florida I will return to you with open arms and an open heart.

Why I DON'T Observe Halloween

Well it's that time of year again. A time of year where candy and costumes are scattered throughout stores. When people are getting ready to do their annual "trick-or-treating". The practice seems harmless, but the origins of this wicked "holiday" are anything but harmless. I have always been taught that we didn't do Halloween in our house because it was like the devil's birthday. Well since then I have grown up a bit and done some more research and realized just why we didn't observe it and why I still don't want to today. Halloween or All Hallow's Eve actually is a Celtic tradition and here is what one article said about it (there are multiple articles out there that say the same thing):"Witches and other evil spirits were believed to roam the earth on this evening, playing tricks on human beings to mark the season of diminishing sunlight."(http://www.eliyah.com/hallween.html) People would then disguise themselves so the spirits couldn't recognize them and light bonfires to ward off evil spirits. You can see the lingerings of the tradition today with the people dressing up in costumes. I am not against dressing up at other times, but I am against supporting a holiday with such wicked roots.

Now some people differ on how they go about NOT observing Halloween. Some will not even participate in Fall festivals or put up pumpkins. I put up a plain looking pumpkin for harvest time and I do help out with my church's Fall Festival. We dress up in family friendly costumes, have a Bible story, and games for the kids and it's not on actual Halloween. Some are not even ok with that. I just tell people that I am celebrating Fall, not Halloween. Everyone has their own convictions. I have not been convicted about helping out with the Fall festival (now Trunk or Treat that some churches do is an entirely different matter...I think that is way too much like Trick or Treating). I just know I don't want to have anything to do with witches, demons, zombies, etc that are linked with Halloween. I believe as Christians, we are called to live to a higher standard. This is why I don't observe Halloween. This doesn't mean I automatically condemn those who do let their kids Trick-or-Treat. I may not understand it, but that's up to them not me. We are responsible for ourselves and I will stand alone before Christ on Judgment Day and so will they, to give an answer for everything. I just know that as for me and my house, yes we will serve the Lord and no we will not do Halloween. That's where I stand and it was through conviction of the Holy Spirit and much prayer and research that I came to this conclusion. I pray that you will let the Holy Spirit guide you and heed His direction in your life, whatever it may be.

A Thousand Gifts

Lately I have been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It was a gift to me from a sweet Christian woman, who I am glad to call friend and mentor. If you haven't read this book, you really should look into it. It's a great read that will have you wanting to go back for more and you will want to pick up again and again from time to time. In this book, the author describes how we are to get by with the messiness of life and find true joy and peace in the Lord by counting our blessings, some of them perhaps in disguise. They can seem small to some, but these blessings are gifts from the Giver and helps us to realize that even in the so called mundane God can be seen. She started a practice of giving thanks by keeping a journal with 1,000 gifts such as laughter of her family around the dinner table. Even in the simple,small everyday things there is beauty....there is God.

I, myself, have started keeping my own journal titled "My Thousand Gifts" and a challenge statement that I will live fully right where I am. Because tomorrow isn't here yet and yesterday is gone. What will I do with today? What gifts will I see today? How can I find joy in even what seems like pain today? When people die, money is tight, jobs are lost, sicknesses occur, families break apart...where do we find joy? How can we see God's face in such tragedy and loss? But God is passing by even through the hard times and we can truly see Him if we seek Him with all of our heart. We have to choose joy, choose to be thankful...for only in that can we truly see God. One thing Ann Voskamp said in her book touched me deeply (ok so almost everything in that book touched me deeply, but here's one of the most recent): "This daily joy stuggle, above all, it is a Jacob-wrestle to see God in the faces we face." We bicker and fight, clash and wound, and yet we long and desire to see God in the faces we encounter in life. We wrestle with our flesh and spirit over joy. I pray that you can choose joy today and maybe if you have a chance jot down some of your own gifts. It's a truly freeing experience. God can be seen in everything. We just have to be looking.

Here are some of my gifts:
 
24) A girl grasping God's truth and living it
28) Dog's head in the lap
3) Barefeet dangling in water
5) Twirling barefoot in a skirt in sunny weather
16) The feel of familiar arms around me when I'm blue
27) His hand in mine (Him being Adam)

God bless you on your journey and may you choose joy everyday and to see the beauty of God in even the mundane and the messiness of life.

Lifesong of a Christian Warrior

"Shout to the Lord, all the earth let us sing. Power and majesty praise to the King..." I sing the lyrics to the song Shout to the Lord at church and try to keep the tears from flowing down my face. Why tears, you ask? Because this song reminds me of my mom...my mom, the greatest Christian warrior I know. It's one of her favorite songs. She told me that once when I was little and I never forgot. It was based on Psalm 100, one of her favorite passages of Scripture. I gave her a cheap ceramic jewelry box with this passage on it. She acted like it was the greatest treasure in the world. That's one of the reasons I love my mom. She can take the smallest thing and make it seem like a treasure.

If you met my mom today, you would have no idea all the hardships she has been through. You would have no idea about all the dirt she had been dragged through. And yet through it all her life was singing "Shout to the Lord". He was Her Jesus and Her Savior, Her tower of refuge and strength. She relied on Him even in the midst of the storm and even when she was weak, because of her trust in Him, she was strong. People ask me today how come I am so strong of a Christian, to which I say I am not strong...He is just strong in me. But when people ask me how I came to know of Jesus, I point to my mom. I could not have the faith I have today if not for her and the testimony of her life. She shows me what it truly means to stand up for the Lord in everything.

I pray I can sing "Shout to the Lord" as my lifesong too. She is building a wonderful legacy and I know one day I will have to say goodbye to her on this earth. Praise God it won't be the final word; that we will reunite beyond the pearly gates. I know that if she does pass on before me, I want to sing the song "Shout to the Lord" at her service to honor her life. Because I have labeled that in my mind as her song, her life song. She always is singing to the Lord and this makes her the strongest Christian warrior I know. Keeping shouting and singing, mom. I love you bigger than the moon.



Me and my mom -August 2012

Dancing with Daddy

Ever since I can remember I have longed to dance with my dad, but I never got to. He was seldom at home. One of my dreams is that I can dance with him on my wedding day. I hope that comes true. I have been working on a devotional for girls who don't really have a father in the home, but then the Lord inspired me to write a children's book about it. The content for the children's book is what follows. I am hoping to have it published one day. Here it is:

Dancing with Daddy

Dedicated to all the girls who grow up without a father in the home. He is a Father to the fatherless and you don’t have to dance alone.

She stands and stares at the door, hoping and praying that he will walk through. But she knows deep down, he’s not coming home no more. The music is playing, her gown is on. She’s ready for dancing, but there are no feet for her to stand on. She’s a little princess ready for the Ball, but where is her prince who is supposed to take her? Gone. Vanished. Just like that.

A picture hangs on the wall of a happy little family, smiles and all. Feels like that was years ago, but it was taken just 2 weeks ago. How did it go from that to this? From together to apart? All she did was blink her eyes.

She is hurt and confused, sobs in her pillow on the bed. Lets her tears lull her to sleep each night. She loved and trusted, but her heart was shattered by the one she looked up to. Broken. Dejected. Alone.  She doesn’t know what love really is anymore.

Then through the tears one night, she hears a quiet voice whispering her name. It’s calling to her softly and tenderly. Telling her she is loved. She looks around and sees nothing there. But someone is calling, calling to her heart. The tears stop ever so slowly and a strange joy starts to creep in. Her Daddy, the King of Kings, is calling her and telling her to open her heart to Him. He enters in and she feels as if someone is holding her through the pain, rocking her and comforting her. She is not alone.

Now she stands in the room, all dressed up for the Ball. She is not alone this time. The King of Kings is dancing with her round and round the room. She’s His princess and she dances on the tops of His feet. He holds her hand every time she starts to feel alone and she knows she’s never by herself. She can feel His presence all around.

She knows what love really is now and hope has once more crept into her life. She’s not staring at the door anymore. Because while her daddy may have left, Her Heavenly Father will never leave.

Live in the Moment

I think so many times in life we are either living vicariously through our past or what we hope to be in our future. Instead of really living for the day, we get caught up in yesterday and tomorrow. But what are we doing for today? I struggle with waiting. I have always had an issue with patience. I am always wanting my tomorrow to come faster, sooner. But the days really do pass by quickly and if I don't live for today the days will soon be gone and I will regret not soaking up every minute of them. It may be hard in this season of my life as I finish my degree and have to wait to get married. It definitely doesn't help when my friends are getting married and having kids already. It can get discouraging at times, but I know who I am waiting for and he is oh so very worth it. It makes me want to rip my hair out at times and scream in frustration, because I desperately long for the day I walk down the aisle and am joined with my love for better and for worse. But I know my day is coming. Until then I will wait and live for the moment. This is a poem I wrote about it.

Live for the Moment

All around pressure abound,

Of what to do with my future.

The questions; they haunt me,

As I try to go on with life.

When will you marry?

What will you do?

Where will you teach?

Why are you waiting?

How will you use your degree?

Sometimes I just want to scream,

As they bombard me with worries,

And uncertain dreams.

I've gotten to the point

Where I respond

"I don't know; God does. Ask Him."

I know I will find out in time,

But why can't that be enough?

Yet I find, it sometimes isn't enough.

In an instant culture,

I'm brainwashed to want it now,

To want it fast.

But some things take time,

And can't be slapped together

As if it's a McDonald's Happy Meal.

So I come to pray,

"Lord, help me to trust you

With my future and wait

On your timing, not mine."

Because I try to live in tomorrow

Before it's even here,

Instead of focusing on today.

Yesterday is gone and

Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

All I have is today.

So when it's gone,

What will I have to show for today?

Help me, my Lord, to live in the moment.

To take joy in each day

And what it brings.

Not to worry about tomorrow,

But to make this moment, right now, count.



Heavy Hearts...

What do you say when someone tells you one of their family members died unexpectedly, or when your friend's husband just got laid off from his job of many years, or when someone tells you someone they love dearly just went to jail? Life is fill of tough circumstances and our hearts get heavy. We are weighted down with the troubles of this world, pierced by the pain.

 And we don't really know what to say to those people, because we know if we were going through it there are some things we wouldn't want to hear. For instance, telling someone "I understand" can be so painful for someone going through a tough time. They may feel like there is no possible way anyone can understand, so telling them this does nothing. People can say "I will pray for you", but how many people really stick to this promise? We get busy and we forget. May I dare to suggest that sometimes the best thing is for us to be silent and just lend a listening ear? They need to know that someone cares about what is going on and this can merely be done by listening. And if we are going to say anything, isn't it safe to say that since we don't really know what to say, we let Him do the speaking through us? What about praying for the person right then and there, praying over them in the Spirit? Or maybe pointing them to the ONE who does understand? Because He holds our tears in a bottle and is near to the broken hearted. What about quoting Scripture? Because God's Word contains the perfect remedy to any pain. He is the ultimate healer. We can't heal, but He can.

Life is full of heartache and our hearts get so heavy with the pain. Let's encourage anyone going through a tough time and has a heavy heart to lay it at the foot of the cross, because the one who created our hearts promised us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. May we all lay our heaviness on the altar before Him, so we don't have to carry such a heavy load.  He provides us with a peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray that we can trade our heavy hearts for peaceful hearts.

Change Can Be a Good Thing

My dog Peanut is one of the most skittish dogs I know. Every time something is different than how it is supposed to be, he freaks out. Simply put, he does NOT do well with change AT ALL. If we move the play house outside to a different area, he won't even want to go outside because something isn't right. Yep- that's my dog.

My dog Peanut

And like my dog, I don't do well with change either. I don't shake, like he does when something has been changed, but I still don't like it. OK and I may shake a little bit on the inside, but that's perfectly normal right? Someone please reassure me here. Here's the thing: most people don't like change and see it as a bad thing. However, change can be good. Take me for instance: if you look at a picture of me when I graduated high school and then another picture of me now (about 5 years later) I look pretty much the same. I haven't changed much on the outside. But if you were able to look on the inside into my soul, you would see a lot of change. 

Me- June 2009

Me- June 2013

  In those 5 years I have left home, left everything I knew and went somewhere unfamiliar and new. I traveled to North Carolina for school where I didn't know anyone. I had to find a new church home all by myself and it was scary at times. I was attending a new school, at a new town, going to a new church and I knew absolutely no one. At times, I thought I was going to die. I thought "This is way too hard...I should just go home." Maybe I exaggerated a bit as I tend to do at times, but it sure seemed like the end of my world at the time. It was really hard, but you know what? I got through it and it made me stronger. Me, who hates change, had to undergo a whole lot of change in a short amount of time and learn how to deal with it. It wasn't easy, but I did it. I hit a lot of rough spots, got really homesick and would cry myself to sleep. This was all a part of me learning to deal with the change. I didn't do so well at first, but I grew so much during this time. I found a new church home in time, made friends and started learning my way around in North Carolina. I only got lost a few times (Praise God for GPS! HA!). I was transformed from the inside out through this time in my life and it did me a lot of good. For one, it made me really learn how to rely on God for ALL I need. My parents and hometown couldn't be a crutch for me to use anymore. I had to rely on God-  He was all I had and He's all I needed. Huge lesson I learned. I had to learn to trust not just God, but other people...new people. I also learned you can't trust everyone just because they go to a Christian school. This resulted in me getting some of my things stolen from me by my roommate. I think God was trying to show me something. I tend to be a little too open with people and I slowly learned, I couldn't do that. I had to learn how to discern when to open up to someone and when to keep silent. I didn't have my parents or other adults there telling me which people to share with and which ones not to. I had to figure it out for myself and thank the Lord He was there to help me. I couldn't have done it without Him. I once hated change, but I am now learning to embrace it as God brings it across my path. I still have a hard time with some changes, but I am getting there. It's a learning process and I think I will be learning until I die. So looking at a picture of me fresh out of high school and a recent picture of me I look pretty much the same, but I know I'm not. If you look closely, my eyes look different. The girl out of high school was naive and a bit immature. The woman I see now has knowledge shining out of her eyes that life can be tough. She looks stronger and I know she will only get stronger as God continues to grow her. 

So next time you face some big change in your life, don't cringe or try to run away from it. First of all, that's futile since usually the change will take place no matter what you do and usually needs to take place. Remember that you will become stronger through the change and the storms of life. In Isaiah 48:10 God says, "See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction." He is transforming you from the inside out with the refiner's fire so you may be pure as gold. Don't fight the change- embrace it and see what God is going to teach you through it! Change can be a good thing.

Freedom Blessings

Memorial Day. A day set apart in May to remember all those who sacrifice their lives to ensure our freedoms. It won't mean much to anyone else in the world, but to an American it means so very much. I grew up as a Military Brat and have many family members who served in different branches of the military over the course of the years. I think Navy, Army, and Air Force were the branches that my family members served in. So Memorial Day definitely means something to me. I think of all the blessings that are in my life because of the service of men and women in our military. 

Here is just a list of some of the blessings because of the sacrifice of the US Military:
1- A chance to go to school and get an education
2- A chance to choose what I want to be and not be forced to do something
3- The right to have my own opinion and be public about it without being thrown in jail
4- The chance to live in a free country and not have to worry about my country turning on each other
5- The opportunity to worship freely and how I want to

Our nation may be so far from where it needs to be, but it is still blessed. I can think of many blessings in my life from just these past few months that living in a free country enable me to do such as: attending college, working with children in a relatively safe atmosphere, driving down the road without having to worry about bombs and bullets constantly being sent my way, going to church and being free to worship God, and watching my fiance graduate from college. 

This nation may seem bleak at times, but then I just go count my blessings and realize how much our military has done through the work of the Lord to ensure our freedoms. And looking back at all the blessings the freedom brings me...well that makes me PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN. And it seems so small compared to all they do, but I want to say "Thank You" to the men and women who lay their lives on the line so I can live in a free country. Thank you for sacrificing some of your own freedoms for mine. 

Stepdad Blues...

For those of you reading this who have never been through a divorce, you may not understand what I am about to write.This is from the viewpoint of a girl whose parents got divorced when she was young. So just keep that in mind :)

I took Human Growth and Development last semester at college and we talked about how girls usually have a harder time when their mothers remarry. This is due to the bond they create with their mom and the sense they feel they need to protect them if their father has done terrible things to their moms. And so yes I did hate my step dad at first. Many people told me I was terrible for that, but now I am being told that was normal.  Apparently step dad blues are actually common.

When my mom and step dad got engaged, everyone expected me to be happy and join in with the celebration. I sat at a table in the back, almost in tears. The only person who really noticed that was Grandma Teresa, we called her. I will never forget what she told me. She told me it was ok to cry, but that in time I would figure out that my step dad was good for my mom. She understood what I was battling with and didn't try to tell me how horrible I was for having those feelings. I will always appreciate that, especially since she has passed away since then and is no longer with us. 

When my mom first started going with Steve and then announced she was going to marry him, my 12 year old heart remembered what my mom had said when I was around 10. At the time, she was going through some tough times because of what my dad had done. We all were suffering from it. She told me " I will never marry again." I realize now she said this in her grief, not thinking she ever would marry again, while God had different plans. At the time though, I felt like it was just another time someone lied to me. I was starting to get used to that, but I sure didn't like it one bit. So I got angry and I drew into my shell. For the longest time, it had been just me and my mom. I saw her get hurt, I heard her cry at night when she thought I didn't know. I didn't want any man in her life, because of the fear he would do something to her like my dad did. I was happy and comfortable with it just being me and her. It was never easy, but we got through the times and I created a very close bond with my mom. I share that bond with her today still and I hope I never lose that. 

In my 12 year old mind, Steve was coming between me and my mom. He was ruining everything we had worked for. And he had been married twice before, so of course I was skeptical. It took time for me to realize that Steve had been transformed by the renewing Spirit of the Lord and he made my mom happy. I saw my mom smile and laugh again. I hadn't seen that in a really long time. Especially not since my dad broke her heart. I gradually let Steve into my life and he has become the father figure I always wanted. I can talk to him for hours now and I enjoy our annual shopping on Christmas Eve together, just me and him. 

To me, this just goes to show that God can use anything and anyone to fulfill His purpose. He used Steve to make my mom feel loved again and to help her heal. I couldn't exactly do all of that. He took a broken family and put the pieces back together. It's as if God took the shattered pieces of our lives and put them together to make a stained glass masterpiece. I love both my mom and my Step-dad today. God took me from having Step-dad blues, to having joy in my Step-dad.

                                                  Me, my mom and Steve in 2011.

Top Ten for Teachers

This is a list of some things I have learned working with children and are important lessons for every teacher. 

1) Do not take things personally. If you have to correct a child, and they say that they hate you...don't start having a pity-party and feeling awful. Just let it roll off your shoulder and take everything with a grain of salt. 

2) Pick a method of correcting and rewarding children and then STICK TO IT! Consistency is key! But... Don't be afraid to change something if one way isn't working for you. Every group of kids are different. Just find out what works best for your group of kids and then stick to it. 

3)Be organized! Kids always function better when everything has a place and there is a place for everything, clearly labeled. For example, have pictures to label where toys or manipulatives go on shelves or a cool place to hang up artwork.

4) Be stern when you need to be, but loveable. The kids need to know that you care, but also that they need to follow the rules and you won't let them get away with breaking them. They need to know you do this because you love them and want what's best for them.

5) Take joy in the small moments like when they give you hugs and tell you something nice out of the blue. These moments make teaching children so much sweeter and will help you get through the hard days.

6) Be aware that there are going to be some chaotic days, but that's ok. Don't give up and keep pressing on, because you have no idea how you are influencing these children s' lives.

7) Don't be afraid to joke and laugh with the kids at times. Play games with them, sing songs, do crafts, read stories and make lasting memories. 

8) Listen to your kids and take to heart what they tell you. So much can be accomplished sometimes if we just stop talking and listen. 

9) Always tell the children you love them, give them hugs, and be there for them when they need to talk or need you to help with a situation. This shows them that you care and this is the most important thing you can do for your kids: Show them the love of Christ by loving them even when they fail! 

10) Teach them the importance of forgiveness by modeling it. You are going to mess up and it's ok if you have to go back to a child and say I'm sorry that my voice was a little harsh with you etc. This shows them that you are human, but you know how important it is to apologize for things you have done wrong and then do better in that area.