What Love Looks Like

Love. What does it look like? I know what it looks like for me. 

It looks like the face of this beautiful woman standing next to me in this picture. 

It looks like the eyes that light up when I walk into the room, so happy to see me.

It looks like the mouth that speaks words of kindness, and encourages me. 

It looks like the ears that listen to me no matter what time of day or night it is.

It looks like the nose that scrunches up when she smiles real big and laughs.

It looks like the arms that hold me when my world is falling apart.

It looks like the hands that have laid a cool cloth on my brow when sick, and wiped away my tears.

It looks like the legs that walks out her faith, sharing with others His love.

It looks like the feet that stand firm on God's Word and when all else fails, to stand. 

Love looks like all of these things for me. Summed up in one beautiful person: My mom. She's not perfect, but she's perfectly imperfect. I learn from her strengths and her flaws. Her example has spoken volumes in my life. My mom uses all of herself to show me what love truly is.

Because love is being there no matter what. I will always and forever remember the love my mom shows. Throughout lots of moments in my life.

Through baking Christmas cookies together and singing carols.

Through spending the night away from home when dad came home drunk, holding my hand.

Through the nights I was sick and you made me a pallet on your bedroom floor.

Through surviving an awful wreck and crawling into the bed with me as I cried myself to sleep.

Through cheering me on as I graduated from college and started to pursue my dreams.

Through terrible heartbreak like nothing I had ever felt and letting me sleep in your room because the memories in mine were just too much.

Through helping me set up a classroom and then pack it up.

Through continuing to support me as I grow and find new dreams to pursue.

So what does love look like?

It looks like...

My mom.

So Happy Mother's Day, Happy Father's Day (for stepping into the role of a dad because mine was lousy), and Happy everything day. Because you make everyday happy. 

"Any day spent with you is my favorite day so today is my new favorite day."-A.A. Milne

A Song for Sunday: "What a Friend we Have in Jesus"

I don't really know what it's like to have a real friend. Sure, I have people I hang out with and do things with. But a real friend? The kind who calls you or texts you out of the blue just to see how you are doing, without you having to say anything first, the one who just knows you so well without you having to say anything? Yeah I've never had that. I mean it's not like I haven't tried to be nice. I guess I just don't connect with people. And gosh it's depressing sometimes.

I keep staring at the phone screen wondering if today may be the day someone texts me out of the blue for once. But it doesn't. So I reach out. Over and over again. Sometimes they just respond with oh I have been so busy. And yeah I am busy too, but if no one ever reached out, if we never made time for each other, then where would we be? Want to know why suicide is on the rise today? Because people are lonely. Because they want true friends. Someone to check up on them. Someone who genuinely cares. Someone who will take time for them in the midst of their busy life. Because we are all busy. But we make time for what matters most. And I guess I just really don't matter. 

So I brush it off and act like it's all ok. Like I don't care. But on the inside I ache for a true friend. And I question myself multiple times a day what in the world is wrong with me?  When some can never get together, or barely respond, or worse: just don't say anything at all when you mention you would love to come visit. To be honest, without Jesus, I don't know where I would be. But there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother, one who loves unconditionally and I am so glad He is my friend and my Lord.

Because it hurts when I always have to be the one doing the inviting. When I am always the one reaching out. When I can count on one hand a time someone has reached out to me first, it's depressing. And thing is I have even mentioned this to some people and they act like I am either crazy or over- reacting. And yet I sit all alone in my room some nights just wanting somebody to notice me. Somebody to reach out. 

And my mind goes back to the hymn "What a Friend we Have in Jesus" and I smile. Because thank the good Lord I have Jesus for a friend. There is no better friend to have and maybe He never gave me a true friend because He wanted me to just be satisfied in Him. Maybe one day I will have a friend who will invite me to things, check up on me out of the blue, but for now I am just ever so thankful to have Jesus. 

And I am thankful for the people He has placed in my life that are friends to me, even if they aren't close friends like I desire. 

"What a friend we have in Jesus, 

all our sins and grieves to bear,

what a privilege to carry,

everything, to God in prayer. "

Thank you Lord, that you call me friend. There is no better thing to say, than to say that I am the friend of the Savior :)