A Song for Sunday: "What a Friend we Have in Jesus"

I don't really know what it's like to have a real friend. Sure, I have people I hang out with and do things with. But a real friend? The kind who calls you or texts you out of the blue just to see how you are doing, without you having to say anything first, the one who just knows you so well without you having to say anything? Yeah I've never had that. I mean it's not like I haven't tried to be nice. I guess I just don't connect with people. And gosh it's depressing sometimes.

I keep staring at the phone screen wondering if today may be the day someone texts me out of the blue for once. But it doesn't. So I reach out. Over and over again. Sometimes they just respond with oh I have been so busy. And yeah I am busy too, but if no one ever reached out, if we never made time for each other, then where would we be? Want to know why suicide is on the rise today? Because people are lonely. Because they want true friends. Someone to check up on them. Someone who genuinely cares. Someone who will take time for them in the midst of their busy life. Because we are all busy. But we make time for what matters most. And I guess I just really don't matter. 

So I brush it off and act like it's all ok. Like I don't care. But on the inside I ache for a true friend. And I question myself multiple times a day what in the world is wrong with me?  When some can never get together, or barely respond, or worse: just don't say anything at all when you mention you would love to come visit. To be honest, without Jesus, I don't know where I would be. But there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother, one who loves unconditionally and I am so glad He is my friend and my Lord.

Because it hurts when I always have to be the one doing the inviting. When I am always the one reaching out. When I can count on one hand a time someone has reached out to me first, it's depressing. And thing is I have even mentioned this to some people and they act like I am either crazy or over- reacting. And yet I sit all alone in my room some nights just wanting somebody to notice me. Somebody to reach out. 

And my mind goes back to the hymn "What a Friend we Have in Jesus" and I smile. Because thank the good Lord I have Jesus for a friend. There is no better friend to have and maybe He never gave me a true friend because He wanted me to just be satisfied in Him. Maybe one day I will have a friend who will invite me to things, check up on me out of the blue, but for now I am just ever so thankful to have Jesus. 

And I am thankful for the people He has placed in my life that are friends to me, even if they aren't close friends like I desire. 

"What a friend we have in Jesus, 

all our sins and grieves to bear,

what a privilege to carry,

everything, to God in prayer. "

Thank you Lord, that you call me friend. There is no better thing to say, than to say that I am the friend of the Savior :)